How to Prepare for a Karen Attack by Reading Their Body Language

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With the rise in anti-Asian hate crimes, you must prepare for a Karen attack. The Karen attack (mostly white females, but all-color males and all-color females also apply) leaves you some time to respond because it uses psychological manipulation. The Karen attack also depends on outside physical force (police or security) so you have time to assess the situation. However, in order to win against a Karen, you must be trained to sniff out a racist before it has time to coalesce into an attack. That is hard to do, but we’re going to show you the secret.

Most hate crime laws (if they exist) usually require the Karen to say something racist. So the victim may also be tempted to wait until then to determine whether they’re being targeted for their race. By then it is too late. You need to read the silent signs earlier. Here’s how to accurately spot a Karen without being paranoid about racism.

The Karen Preparation Toolkit

Stage 1: Fear, Shock, Disgust

Stage 1: Fear, Shock, Disgust

At first they stare as if they’ve seen a ghost, a tiger or a space alien.

There’s shock. Fear. Disgust. Jealousy.

You’ve disturbed the peace of their world.

“The Look” | Stage 1| Unsettling and unspecific to the untrained eye | Karen is having an out-of-body experience

Stage 2: Cognitive Dissonance

The brain is in major cognitive dissonance. Usually you’re doing something that violates their vision of your being subservient and lower status. Your energy is threatening their superiority. But they’re not aware of this logically yet.

Stage 2: Cognitive Dissonance
This is a racist Ken. But without his Viagra he may as well be unisex.

Physically their breathing slows. Their eyes stare through you.

Note: At this point, not a word is uttered. You don’t know for sure if it’s racism. But once you do know, it’s too late. That’s why we have to study their body language to increase our odds of fending off an attack. The racist getting-ready-to-strike stare is different from normal white woman stares for any number of reasons including non-racist shock, fear, disgust, or jealousy.

Back to Racist Karen…

Stage 3: Decision made to restore their balance

Stage 3: Decision made to restore their balance

Then their mind sort of gets it. It knows that you’ve done something wrong. You’re the culprit to their well-being. Before they saw you, everything was fine. After they saw you be happy, they felt like their world collapsed. Destroying you will balance everything out to be “fair” again. Remember, in their eyes, “equality” means they’re always on top.

Stage 4: Testing the waters for the full attack

Stage 4: Testing the waters for the full attack

Then you see the windup. Physical instincts and adrenaline sync up. They’ve decided to attack. Like a cobra, their bodies coil, breathing intensifies, eyes narrow and whatever femininity they think they got working for them? They push ’em to the front and scan the room for their allies to bring to their side and isolate you.

Stage 5: Full on Karen attack utilizing various methods

Consider this the variety pack stage of Karen attacks. You can have your call to the police, weaponizing the manager, physically blocking your movement, defacing property and more! This is when Karens get creative and more importantly LOUD! Remember how quiet they were in the beginning? Now, they are at the top of their lungs and demanding attention from every borough and county in a 20-mile radius.

Stage 5: Full on Karen attack utilizing various methods
Stage 5: Sometimes they literally come out guns blazing to attack
Stage 5: Karens can pant and run in circles like hyenas
Stage 5: Karens can attack you at the discount store
Stage 5: Karens can attack you while they’re having their morning coffee
Stage 5 on left Stage 4 on right: Karens can attack you in the parking lot
Stage 5: Karens can attack you on the hiking trail while they get lost on their way to the library
Stage 5: When they can’t be creative, Karens like to go back to childhood racism
Stage 5: Young Karens when they actually taught ‘civics’ in segregated schools
Stage 3: Look at the stares of these Karens.
Stage 5: See the violent Karen in the center escalate her inferiority complex to stage 5.
Bonus! Stage 6: Karens relaxing at a picnic and teaching another generation the fine art of ‘Karen’

Our Strategy

Now that you’ve seen the escalation of the Karen cycle, what should you do? The Seoulite believes that every effort should be made to avoid, evade or prevent a Stage 5 confrontation. Though we love a good Karen video on social media, a stage 5 Karen can be dangerous. You shouldn’t even let Karen start circling the waters like a shark at the Stage 4 level.

Therefore, it’s important to have your guard up starting at Stage 1. Begin implementing your escape or pre-emptive strike while Karen is in the cognitive dissonance stage 2.

What defense strategies can you implement? The most ideal solution is to remove yourself from the situation. If evasion is not possible or convenient, make the decision in your mind that from this moment, you will be in control.

Turn yourself into the fact finder. If Karen wants you to share a cupcake, be fake nice to her so that she can brag to her friends later that “I finally met someone who’s really nice for a _____ [insert minority group] person.” If Karen is trying to see if you’re easy prey, immediately socialize with staffers, officials or nearby patrons to show you’re teamed up with the crowd. Then look at her with fake concern as if she has shit rubbed all over her from head to toe.

Finally, if it gets to level 4 or 5, don’t make the mistake of ‘trying to control the situation’ with rebuttals to everything Karen says. If you do, you’ve already lost before you’ve begun. She won’t listen to a word and you’ll always be in the defensive. Instead, focus everything you say on a new attack on her. Karens are scared of public shame. If her hair is dry, tell her she needs new shampoo. If she has children with her, tell her you’re going to report her for child abuse. If she’s not letting you out of your parking spot, ask her when her husband is going to buy her a new car. If she’s calling the police, call the police too. On speakerphone.

Remember, the key is to be prepared and to start early. Look out for more strategies in future posts. And please share your tips in the comments below. Good luck!

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